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The resistances in psychotherapy

The resistances in psychotherapy

Seeking lost balance, one is confronted with the question or perhaps the necessity to turn to a psychologist-psychotherapist, to try expressing thoughts and emotions, seeking assistance to reorganize and manage them.

The turn to someone else for mental support is a unique move. It presupposes the recognition that something is missing and that there is a need to reach out to a professional to help explore it. While seeking medical help for organic conditions or physical pain is more straightforward, making such a decision about thoughts and emotions is often accompanied by hesitation and unease. Primarily because admitting that one cannot manage their feelings using their own resources is perceived as a personal defeat. It challenges the image one wishes to maintain about oneself and confirms a sense of weakness in relation to what one "should" be able to handle.

One common difficulty in starting psychotherapy is the financial commitment it entails. Although it is a rational hesitation regarding a steady financial burden, it symbolically reflects a reluctance to commit not only financially but also emotionally. The structure of psychotherapy, with predetermined sessions in terms of day, frequency, and space, constitutes a stable relationship with another person, involving thinking, questioning, and taking a stance on newly discovered aspects.

In psychotherapy, one is called to talk about oneself, to address pressures or distress that may have been avoided or only shared with very close individuals. It is a silent commitment to confront what is challenging, to discover new ways of coping and interpreting in order to change what is unsatisfactory.

This process requires a level of trust that individuals often find challenging to develop with someone else. It involves self-disclosure to someone unknown and a degree of honesty, mainly towards oneself. In this process, the individual is not stripping down for someone else but primarily for themselves. The truths admitted or feared in therapy constitute the small and large "secrets," fears, anxieties, anger, or disappointment that one has tried to cover up or avoid. These elements, however, define who one is, their choices, and the way they live.

The idea of self-disclosure is inevitably linked to the fear of upheaval, a change that may be perceived as useful and partly desirable but simultaneously unknown and therefore frightening.

In its possibility, one faces a detachment from familiar things, long-standing habits with which they are familiar. Change is an opening to the new but is also connected to disturbance.

We are strongly attached to our habits. What we have experienced repeatedly, we know well. We know what to expect even if what we experience is not always pleasant. We can predict how we will feel, how we will react, and we are familiar with how we will manage it.

However, when things change, we feel that we must become something else. The prospect of questioning the familiar, of giving up all that one has long recognized as their own, causes anxiety and an instinctive desire to avoid the impending change that seems to shake the image one has maintained for oneself and their life.

The process of psychotherapy often appears as a journey that will confront us with all our negative elements, those we wish to overlook.

However, we usually fear what we already know. What one truly discovers are the positive aspects emerging and ceasing to be unused weapons. The things ignored or overlooked, which can now be used to enjoy more of what life encompasses.

Psychotherapy is a significant path to achieving this goal.

By presenting all these issues, we can understand why someone struggling with any of these necessary stages may consider that it does not "suit" them or they cannot endure it for the time being and decide not to choose it temporarily. In any case, it is crucial for the individual to know the "why."