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The Harmful Labels - Deadlocks

The Harmful Labels - Deadlocks

It often happens that we label ourselves based on what we hear from others, especially during childhood. Adults may repeatedly say things like "you're chubby," "you're short," "not a very smart child," etc. These labels, disguised as sweet or playful words, should not deceive or blind us. They are clear labels that hurt and sharply scratch the hearts of children. They fill their heads with negative messages, creating a heavy burden.

In the same way, negative messages accumulate in all corners of the mind and heart. Self-acceptance and love no longer fit within this abundance of rejection. These labels constitute wounds that children will learn and inflict on themselves automatically. They will judge, reject, and harm themselves because they have internalized the harsh and seemingly playful voices of their parents. This leads to dead ends.

If we directly or indirectly attribute unwanted qualities to ourselves—undesirable, unworthy, miserable, always making mistakes—we eventually find it impossible to offer positive messages to ourselves. Internal anxiety is created, making it difficult to rely on positive aspects of ourselves, especially in difficult times. We have simply excluded them with so much negativity.

It's like carrying useless things in our suitcase, leaving no room for the useful. Therefore, self-acceptance is absent, and consequently, accepting others is not feasible either. Even possible positive gestures from others go unnoticed, and instead of expressing gratitude for a positive remark, one becomes preoccupied with irrelevant references.